Our little guy

I have a few posts I need to update I don't know why I'm being so lazy. But I wanted to talk about Liam's last doctor's appointment. It didn't go as good as I thought it would. Daniel calls Liam "The little guy" and I knew he was small for his age but I didn't think there was anything to worry about I mean he's been crawling for months, he says mama, he waves, he claps, he can even stand up against something. But when the doctor said he went from being in the 76th percentile to the first percentile and that he isn't gaining,growing in height or head it took everything in me not to just break out bawling. I felt so guilty, I mean he eats lots of snacks and I still nurse a lot so I thought it'd be enough but when thinking back to it I know I definitely don't think I feed him like I did Addy. The doctor said I'd need to put butter in everything, feed him avocado and just plain feed him constantly, he will have to go in for a growth check next month. In my defense he does have an ear infection that she says is probably the source of his spitting up constantly and could contribute to the no weight gain. Since then the kid gets stuffed and I think in one week he gained a pound, I just feel awful that I didn't realize it was a problem. As kid number two I know he's not getting the attention Addy did, it's just easy to forget to do some things that a baby needs when you're in toddler mode, at the same time he's become a little more independent from me, like as I type both my kids are in Addy's room playing because he just crawled down the hall to be with her and it's been at least 10 minutes. Well anyways our goal is to get the little guy in fat rolls soon :) He's also been teething the last couple nights and last night was the worst, he wouldn't stop biting me and finally I just laid him down next to me in my bed. I don't know if it's because I'm more tired, or if it's because Daniel works all night and I'm lonely, or just because I want to spend some one on one with Liam, but I never let Addy sleep with me and I don't let Liam either but a few hours if he's cranky I let him lay down by me. Because both my kids are use to being in their own bed when they don't feel good they are not a joy to sleep with. They sprawl, kick, turn and don't generally snuggle. Liam was moving all around so I finally put him on the pillow next to me about an arms length away. I sighed with frustration and then turned to look if he'd fallen asleep. Wide eyed boy was staring at me, not making a sound and shockingly (because he always moves) not moving. Like a moth to a flame I scooted closer, as minutes passed I was soon pretty close and then it happened, the cutest most precious, one of the "this is why I do it" moments, he reached his little hand and laid it on my cheek, then he scooted closer and put his forehead against mine. I got a little choked up, and then without a thought I said the words from a beloved childhood book "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be" And though I didn't get much sleep last night, and my daughter peed on me this morning, and I saw my husband for about 10 minutes for the whole day, I think that memory will be enough to get me through the day! I love being a mom.