Tender Mercies

I turned 27 today. It was a toughy coming to terms that I am getting real close to 30. I know it's just a number but seriously I just feel so young still that it's weird to think how others will consider me old (not sure if that makes sense to anyone but me) Anyways I had a pretty great birthday. Got some gifts from my kids and hubby. Saw my sweet Grandma who turns 92 next month. Had breakfast with my little family. Had cake and ice cream made by my sweet Aunt Roma. And went to Thor with cousins and siblings. All in all a GREEEEAAAAT birthday!!!! It actually started last night. My husband got home from work about 10:30 and he was on the phone when he walked through the door... and he was smiling. I could hear his side of the conversation saying "Does she know your calling?" I of course said who is it? He said hon it's one of your sisters. I looked at him funny wondering what the big deal was and it took a second to comprehend I went through my sisters thinking why would he think this was such a big deal (not that getting a call from any of my sisters isn't a treat?) Finally I said excitedly is it LILLIE? He nodded and I think my exact words while I bounced in my chair and held out my hand for the phone were "give me give me give me." I didn't get to talk to her long but it just made me happy and tear up a little I sure miss her but am so happy that she is doing so well on her mission. I do wish I could have talked to her today so I could tell her the best present I got on my birthday...
I had a very cool experience first thing when I woke up. I was just lounging in my bed and my daughter walked in she was still very dazed and in a dreamlike state. I laughed and said "Good morning Addy" she was at the foot of my bed and she turned and looked at me. She was looking at me funny like I was out of place. Finally she broke out into a grin and said something that jolted my heart. She said "Mommy, Ruthie came home." I sat up a bit and said what did you say? "Ruthie came home mom" I elbowed Daniel and asked "Are you hearing this?" Addy definitely had our attention. She then said with such a happy look on her face "Mom, Ruthie's not dead, she's not dead mom" (BTW the last time Addy saw Ruthie was when Addy was 18 months old, though we did talk about her last month) She repeated this twice saying it as if it would make me the happiest mommy around. Meanwhile I was in tears. Daniel questioned her further and Addy said "I played dress ups with Ruthie...and we watched a movie" I was bawling by this time. Daniel turned and said "I think Addy just gave you her birthday present" and I responded saying "no, I think Ruthie did." The date was meaningful not only because it was my birthday but because of what I was doing on my birthday a year ago. You can read the whole story here but some may remember that I was at Ruthies funeral thinking this was my worst birthday ever. I think Ruthie just made it up to me :) When I told my dad he said that those are what our religious leaders refer to as tender mercies. And I was so thankful for mine :)

Check THAT off my bucket list.

April 30th 2011 I woke up for the 5th time during the night. The alarm was buzzing and I was groaning at the sight of 5 am. The previous four times were out of nerves. You know when you have something that's going to happen the next day early and your worried that the alarm won't go off so you wake up pretty much every hour? That was me. Anyways it was a cold morning. Though we've had wonderfully warm weather all week the weekend had brought a nasty north wind. Despite the cold both Daniel and I got dressed in shorts and short sleeve shirts. I shakily tied my running shoes on, getting hit by another bout of nerves. I popped some IB profen knowing that my body was going to need it. Then kissed my sleeping kids (auntie Comet was sleeping over to take care of them) and then Daniel and I hopped in the truck. We went and picked up Daniel's cousin Alana and headed to the Hurricane Community Center to catch a bus. We sat on the cold buses while lots of other people from all over filled them up all the while the butterflies in my stomach were doing a number on me. We got to the starting line. I tried waiting in line at the porta potties because going 5 times that morning was obviously not enough. Unfortunately about 150 people had the same idea and so I didn't make it. Finally the gun fired and I got swept up in the crowd of 569 runners. Daniel gave me a glance as he took off with the pack. Alana and I stayed together mostly and she was definitely a help when my body wanted to slow down, I was able to keep a good pace.  When mile 5 rolled around the hill named Nemesis loomed ahead. I was so grateful for the training I did on that hill because I was able to take on the mile long monster without losing my pace too much. So many people walked that hill but one of my goals was to run the whole thing and this would be the test if I could run this hill I knew that part of my goal would be a success. So proud of Alana too for making it up that hill, I know that was a goal of hers also and it had to feel good. The rest of the race was just a matter of time. There was a nasty wind which didn't help but when I got to mile 10 1/2 I started picking up the pace realizing how close I was. We passed Roma's house and I was treated to shouts of encouragement from Family!! With signs and cheering it sure gave me that boost because right at that moment we hit mile 12. I didn't get emotional except when I saw Addy after the finish line and it sure felt good to cross that thing except the abrupt stopping made me want to throw up, but my feelings of accomplishment definitely outweighed the physical. I was also so proud of my hubby!!!

I am also so grateful and proud of Alana. She hasn't had the best luck in the health dept. A few years ago she couldn't even walk due to an illness and we were afraid we would lose her... and even 9 months ago after the birth of her baby she was down for quite some time. So even thinking about her finishing is emotional for me and all!! It was mostly her family cheering at Roma's and it was so neat the support they gave her and daniel and I! I am so blessed with the extended family I married into. It's nice enough having great in-laws but having a whole bunch of close cousins and aunts and uncles who are seriously AMAZING is just beyond anything I could have asked for. Alana wasn't sure she wanted to do this thing but I am grateful she did because she definitely pushed me.

 ALANA: time 2:02  Me: time: 2:01 Daniel: 1:55  In the age group 25-29 yr old women I got 9th and Alana got 11th. overall I got 62nd out of 327 women .

so grateful for the support of loved ones!!!

  I LOVE LOVE LOVE Comet and so glad she was willing to come watch the kids and bring them to the finish line to see us accomplish this. Addy kept talking all day how fast Mommy and Daddy were and even was running down our hall saying look mom, like you  I run fast!!! I thought it was a good gift to give my daughter and myself. I am turning 27 this weekend and can honestly say I am in the best shape of my life and that is a gift.

Now Comet always says I should post a picture of me in real clothes... um this is why I don't because my husband isn't the best behind the camera... oh well I kinda like it

The best thing about all of this is that a lot of people have asked me about running and starting the couch to 5k was such a big thing for me and if I can inspire anyone to start it then I am happy! But I do have to give credit where credit is due 50 pounds ago I was struggling with a mile as soon as I started Take Shape For Life with Karli Cleaver I lost a about 20 pounds the first month all of a sudden the running was a lot easier and so was all my exercising the more I lost the easier it was to do the exercising part so I am definitely grateful for Karli for introducing something that worked so well for me. Now will I do a 1/2 again? You betcha we are already planning our next one. It was fun and Daniel wants to beat his time. We might even do a 15 miler in Aug. But no full marathons for me yet the training is to much for me with my little ones and keeping my exercise routine. Anyways thanks to all who were supportive and encouraging I hope to return the favor one day!!!!

April 29th 2010

 While the world watched these 2 get married

I watched my own little Princess turn 3

I did give a nod to the Brit's during Adelaide's celebration though.

Her party's theme was a tea party (apple juice party I should say)

Also like Kate's guests there were HATS

Our hats were just more tasteful

 The girls had fun in my SIL Shelley's backyard. They jumped and ate, and got their nails painted by the fabulous Hayley Coombs AKA auntie COMET. We also had them design their own take home bags that included a teacup and ring pop. Comet also taught them to drink out of a tea cup all proper like.

The most important thing is my 3 year old felt like the day was ALL hers and didn't notice that the world was just ooohing and aaahhing over someone else. Someone asked me how she'll feel having to share her birthday with the wedding day of the future King and Queen of England, and honestly she'll probably love it as long as she still gets to blow out candles and gets sang too (Her favorite part of the whole party...can you say grinning ear to ear?). Either way Addy will always be a sweet lil princess to me and her daddy.

EASTER WEEK

Well last week we had some fun and went with cousins and friends to a splash pad. My kids LOVE water!!! Though in the past they shy from water spraying and gravitate towards large bodies of water. But they did so good and really enjoyed it.

On Saturday we were all sorts of excited. Mostly because Daniel had worked 96 hours this week and we finally got him for a day. We went up to Smith's Mesa which overlooks Zion National Park and had our easter egg hunt and luncheon on the property there. The cousins had fun seeing each other, and it was quite different then just hiding eggs in the grass.

So although the Easter egg hunt was a blast that evening I was miserable though. I caught a flu bug and was throwing up every 20 minutes ALL night. NOT FUN! But on the upside the desserts I indulged in had no chance at all to up the scale :)

EASTER SUNDAY: I was still weak from being up all night and Daniel had a 24 hr shift that day. BUT it was Easter I decided to buck up and head to Church at 9 am. I did make it to Sacrament but left after due to my children being grumpy and mommy being ill equipped to handle the grumpiness. When they went down for naps I mournfully called my mom telling her I was having a hard time "liking" my children today. Yup I'm a bad mommy, but after I got a nap I was a little better. I attempted to show Addy some clips about the real meaning behind EASTER. But after watching them she buried her head in my shoulder and said "that's scary" mommy. She didn't like them hurting Jesus (me neither baby :) Anyways sick and all I made a ham and rolls and went to LaRae's with family to have Easter dinner. I do wish I could have felt a little better to really enjoy Easter Sunday and the spirit I usually feel. I've always loved Easter and had to smile when thinking about how we always watched the ten commandments on Easter Sunday and I looked forward to it every year. Hopefully next year I can bring a more spiritual emphasis to this Holiday.

Angry Little Birds

So I guess there is a popular game out there called Angry Birds. It's an app for your phones or other devices. Never heard of it until my little nephew Lincoln kept playing it on his dad's phone and loved it! So when LaRae called me to tell me she forgot Linky's birthday (hey, she just had another baby) I said I'd make cupcakes/cake that friday to celebrate. We called the fam and told them to come to the park Friday night. I scoured the internet for some ideas and came across some angry bird cupcakes, I thought hey doesn't Link love that game? So I did, heck if I know if they really look like it because I've still never seen or played the game... yes I'm a lamo I guess my 3 year old nephew is cooler than me.

Linky blowing out the candles

Love this little boy! I can't believe he's 3 which just means that Addy's turning three on Friday and that is CRAZY!!!

Summer???????

The weather has been so CRAZY here lately. We had lots of rain, wind and even a snow day in one week. The next week we're up to 89 degrees....can you say summer? While I have plenty to write about, I haven't had much time. Between finishing up a 40+ hour project for my old relief society and training for my half marathon which is in two weeks!!!!!! I feel like I haven't stopped to breathe this month. But I will very soon take an evening and blog it all. Until then here's two pics I LOVE!

Oh.... and did you know that I have a new precious little nephew? His arrival has kept me on my toes trying to help where I can, and also trying to photograph his sweet little mug!!!

xoxo Jason Wynn Stout (april 6th)

Check it out

So it isn't done...not by a long shot but I couldn't wait to see what people think. Check out the new PHOTO blog.
And scroll down I've updated here 3 times tonight!! Go me!

not quite

It looks like home to me... ALMOST. There is the big huge tree that I use to climb. There's the many baby lambs that arrive this time of year. The assortment of animals roam the fields and fill the corrals. There's a field just planted with berries. Ruth's house sits at the edge of the property. And there is a view that is breathtaking. But it's not exactly home anymore. The huge tree just sits there with no child climbing it, the baby lambs will not be shown by one of my siblings in the county fair this summer. The assortment of animals are one's I don't share memories with the old mule is dead, and Max the dog is not there to greet me.

 The field planted with berries will not be picked by me (unless I am lucky enough to come back),Ruthie's house causes an ache in my heart when I momentarily forget she's not there to go visit with, the view is still just as breathtaking though. I realize I don't know this place anymore. People are gone, or families are changed. Our school gym has been painted and has new bleachers. Even my parents are hardly recognizable, my mother frantically trying to keep a dog IN the house is so unbelievable. And I realize that TIME is a huge factor when talking about a PLACE. This is not the PLACE I grew up. Physically it is, same house, same tree, same fields, etc. But really it's not. The place I grew up is a memory. No more hiking the hills to catch lizards, or climbing over fallen tree's accross the canal to get to the Merc to buy candy. No more walking home after school. No more raw milk in the fridge when you get home, or hiding on the roof of the barn to get out of doing chores. And it's not just because I'm to old to go to school, or catch lizards, or because there is no tree to cross over, or the fact that the barn would literally collapse if someone tried to climb it that makes these things undesirable to the present. It's that the people who I shared these memories with aren't here. My cousins aren't here to help with sheep or catch those lizards. My siblings aren't here to fight with over who fills the milk jug or who does what chores. The people who made my childhood aren't there anymore, and it's a little sad and a little lonely to think about. But that's what makes the memories all the more precious, because they will never be duplicated. And the saying is correct you truly can Never Go Back. But you can make new memories for sure and having my kids be here doing things that I did sure means a lot, even if it's a different time and PLACE.

much needed

I am so far behind in blogging some events so I'm gonna post a few things that happened the last few months.
March 1:
Right off we moved to a new apartments and we're kinda in love with it. I WILL post pictures soon but it has 10 foot ceilings, a 2 car garage, 3 bedrooms 2 bath a bigger back yard and a LARGE master bedroom with a door to the backyard. Bigger kitchen and way more storage so we're very happier here. Especially since we lived in a really unsavory part of town and now we live in a very nice neighborhood.
March ?: I got a call from my good friend and old roommate Melissa. She was driving through with her parents and wanted to know if I wanted to meet them at In-N-Out in
St. George. I jumped at the chance and brought my kids to see Auntie Mel. I really love Mel and miss living with her. She was such a good roommate and friend!

Also in March we had St. Patty's day. I wanted to do something fun for the kids (I told Steph to drop hers off for the morning.) and I made green pancakes and tried to make green milk but for some reason it turned blue. Oh well I told the kids I caught the leprechaun as he was changing the milk to different colors in the rainbow and he ran away before he got to blue. Oh the lies we tell to enchant our little ones.

 Anyways besides a few photo deals, more training for the half marathon and our trip home to OREGON (which will be posted about later) that's March 2011 for ya!

oh, the weather outside

So the weather here lately has been AMAZING!!!! Except for today because it's windy but lately we've been upper 70's even hit 80's... nice when you're running and nice when for the kids because we get to do this....

  and we get to meet up with friends and family....

 and we play peek a boo outside...

 and when it's beautiful I can't help but take some photos of beautiful kids...

the trade off

I have been really pondering the intelligence of choices I make. Not even the really huge ones but the every day ones. It's interesting to think about the things we sacrifice or "trade off" for some of our choices.
Daily I'm making these trade offs. A nap instead of washing my dishes, or vice versa. A movie for the kids instead of coming up with creative time. Staying at the park longer which cuts into nap time for the kids. Taking on church callings that can require many hours of preparation cutting into family time. While I deal with most of these without thinking, there has been some pretty big changes in my life health wise that has required a lot of trade-offs and a lot of thought.
Losing weight has been interesting, it's not just the losing weight it's the knowledge that being healthy sure does take a lot of time and effort. Realizing that it's worth it doesn't necessarily make it easier. I exercise now.... A LOT. At least 5 times a week but usually 6. Sometimes I exercise more than 2 hours in a day. I am training for a 1/2 marathon and the thought it almost laughable. I had never even ran a mile without stopping (outdoors) before... ever. I remember in high school running for the presidential fitness badge and I always walked a 1/2 a lap or more. Last Saturday I ran 9.2 miles and dang it I'm proud of myself. I could maybe struggle with 10 "real" pushups before now I can do 100 "real" ones (not without a break but hey I'm working on it) Now before it sounds like I'm a braggart I do have a point. I have worked hard to get to here. I have taken time out of my day, time out of my kids day, time out of my hubby's day to get to this point. And I'm not done. I sometimes have wondered if it's worth it... for me of course it is but what about my family? And the answer is YES.
 When I go running and my husband takes the kids out to grandma's to play or to the park he always drives on my route so they can see me running. This was my idea, I wanted my kids to see me exercise to see that it was a daily thing for mommy. And when we were at the park and Addy went taking off running, her dad asked her where are you going Addy? She said " I just goin runnen dad!" And my heart was uplifted by the fact that I was setting an example for my kids. I don't watch T.V. until they are in bed and though I need to work on not being on the computer so much I try to show them that being active is what you do.
As for my eating it was a huge trade off. Yes it was a cost to my family, one we really had to think about. But surprisingly we didn't feel to much of the pressure because obviously mom wasn't shopping for what she thought might taste good for dinner. Since I am somewhat of an experimental cook I would see lavish recipes with expensive ingredients and want to make it. All of a sudden I was making things that just my kids and hubby would like and we were saving money. It was a trade off to miss out going to my favorite burger joint or pass by my favorite dish in favor of something healthier. Or even the fact that I carry a bottle of approved dressing in my purse and get strange looks when I pull it out. But this trade off was worth it because I am almost 50 pounds lighter and inches and inches smaller, plus my vitals are amazing in fact out of my husbands CNA class I had the best vitals basically meaning my body was the most efficient.

So I'm done right? That is perhaps the biggest trade-off of all. This is a LIFE change. Is it daunting? Heck yes it is. Am I petrified of failure? Yes... yes I am. But I am also confident because I know that even if I decide that the trade-off isn't worth it that day, I know the next day I'll be right back on track because being a healthier me makes for a healthier mommy, and a healthier marriage and THAT is worth it.

Friend LUV

So I just had a great weekend! I ran 8.3 miles Saturday!!!! Yeah for training! I also got ready for a BBQ with Comet and her family. Her best friend from way back was in town and they had always wanted to get friend pictures done. So after a yummy dinner (mmmm... Steak) and yummy dessert (if you like almond stuff you should definitely make the Almond tart from ourbestbites.com) we went out for a photo shoot and had a fun time.

So here's the pics. The first 3 are a few more from the day with ADDY!

She thinks she's funny!

my beautiful girl.

Comet and Larissa
Let me just say a little jealous of these ladies legs... so shapely :) while mine are trunks :(
(by the way Comet's real name is Hayley just FYI)

Larissa is so FUN! Addy loves her and she's so good with my kids (she even changed a stinky while visiting can you say AWESOME!)

they LUV eachother

you can tell these two have been friends for a loooong time they are so comfortable with eachother

I just love COMET I am so blessed to have her in my life and she treats me like family which I love. She is so beautiful inside and out, and I count any day I spend with her as one FANTASTIC day.